Can some one bring me ice cream? My knee hurts.

This was the first weekend in a looooong time that I had absolutely nothing to do.

Naturally, I started it off with margaritas and ended it with beer.

My tummy hurts.

But if I've learned anything this weekend, it's that the weekend is a hell of a lot longer when there's glorious nothing on your agenda.

I told myself I'd spend it biking, cleaning, and whatever the hell I felt like.

Then Saturday morning happened, and I had an epic mountain bike crash, thereby destroyed my knee. It should have sucked more than it did, but the truth is, being injured is a brilliant excuse to lay around on the couch all day:

"I can't make dinner, my knee hurts."
"I can't clean the toilet, my knee hurts."
"I can't kneel down to do that, my knee hurts."
"I can't get dressed, shower, or comb my hair. My knee hurts."


You can insert anything into the equation: I can't________. My knee hurts.

I promise it will work every time. And if it doesn't, don't be above acting like a bitch to get your way.