Tuesday, September 16, 2008

PMS

The BF has completely and utterly redeemed himself from the whole "commitment" issue by completely fulfilling my needs over the past few days. For example, he has responded to my need to only interact with his penis, not his actual persona, by playing non-stop video games until the wee hours of the night in the mancave, long after I have retired to bed. Don't worry, he's been considerate enough to wake me up and let me know the AC malfunctioned and it's 90 degrees in the room. It was thoughtful, really, since I was in danger of getting more than 5 hours of sleep. Other needs of mine that he has met:
  • My need to feel toilet water on my ass late in the night (suprise!) by letting my ass bypass the seat and go straight for the bowl. Some might call it disgusting, but, really, in the middle of the night, there's nothing better. Especially when someone forgets to flush.
  • My need to feel second-best as he continues to invite the neighbor over every single night to play video games. He soo understands my need to not talk about my day and share the important events in my life, such as whether or not I should look for a new job. Women hate having a shoulder to turn on when they've had a rough day, and I really appreciate his understanding that.
  • My need to never relax by leaving the trash full, dirty dishes in the sink, and pee stains on the bathroom floor.

Needless to say, I am lucky to have all this in a man. It's hard to believe that he doesn't have any sisters. Not that I'm bitter.

8 comments:

Latent Image said...

Your going to have to give me a minute, or so to compose myself from the laughter

Sarah Bellum said...

Yes, you're a very lucky woman to have Scotty. I mean really, what would you do without him?

Anonymous said...

I think you & I are living the same life. Although insert Video Games for drinking beer on the front porch with the gross chauvinistic guy next door. And switch SD for the Midwest. But other than that pretty much everthing that happened to me last night! It helps to know that others chose the same life I did.

Summer said...

Ok...everyone was right. Men are gross and yucky and I should just stay single forever. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Anonymous said...

yeah, i can completely relate. substitute games for joints and SD for NYC and you pretty much get my situation. but then they go and do a 180 and you remember why you're with them, damn them for having redeeming qualities! ;)

Salt City Mistress said...

Wow, my computer just overloaded with sarcasm oozing from the CPU.

Anonymous said...

It's so difficult to find one that is housebroken. I blame his mother.

happy mom said...

yuck with the toilet water, men are like kids, and you said you didn't have any yet! surprise, kids are much better than the men most of the time! (okay, that isn't always true, but it is easier to forgive a child, when it is an adult you just want to say grow up!)