That bitch Graber is engaged, and I volunteered myself to cruise around with her to look at different venues for her wedding.
Let's review for a second: she's been engaged since Friday, has already set a date, reserved a church, and is looking for a reception venue.
I've been engaged since 1985 and am pretty sure I forgot to tell my parents.
I would feel like a failure, but I'm too busy feeling like a genius.
Because I'm not really venue shopping with Graber to be a supportive friend. I'm venue shopping with her to ensure that she has everything in place for her wedding.
And then I'm going to steal her identity.
This way, I don't have to pay for or plan shit. She'll do it all.
And the best part of all is she's too gaga in love and blinded by the blingiest ring known to mankind (whore!) to suspect anything.
I win.
4 comments:
You are an evil genius. Are you going to sew her face over yours? And how are you going to get your groom to impersonate her groom so you don't end up marrying the wrong groom? Or is he better looking and/or richer? Because then maybe you should marry her groom, but don't tell him you are you, only wearing his bride's face. Becaue that would really put a damper on the wedding night, if you know what I mean.
Best. Plan. Ever.
I'm getting married next year and still haven't picked a venue. Perhaps Graber has a likewise enthusiastic engaged friend? :]
Graber here.....
Kelli thinks she is all sly and shit? Whatever bitch! I'm going to tell her the wrong times and places for the venues so that her master plan is foiled. If that doesn't work, I'll just blind her with my 5 carat ring before she is able to get into the car for our little adventure.
....oh and as far as you stealing my man? YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR WEDDING LADY!!!!!
I want to steal your brain. This is the best plan ever!
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