Okay, so maybe it's not Vegas, but the Tri-Cities, WA is close. Because you can totally conside survival at my sister's a gamble. Pretty sure the only reason she didn't kill me is because blood stains so don't go with the color scheme of her house.
Anyway. In order to avoid crying and puffy eyes (sooo not a good look for me), I've come up with a list of reasons I'm glad to be leaving:
5. No more 5 AM workouts. Pretty sure waking up that early on vacation is illegal.
4. No more feeling like a failure because I can't make a bed without leaving wrinkles.
3. No more feeling disgust over the fact that, despit identical price tags, my sister's house is 6 times bigger than mine. Southern California real estate is dead to me.
2. No more fighting nature by taking care of others. That shit is exhausting, and being selfish is much more my style.
1. No more standing in a bikini next to my size negative 10 whore of a sister,
Now I'm off to Utah, where I just have to figure out how to escape without having 12 kids or forgetting how to use the word "fuck."
The end.
3 comments:
Hooray for looking at the bright side!
And a note on number 4, it would be SO much easier to make a bed without wrinkles if they actually made sheets that FIT the bed, you know??
So excited to see you! And don't worry, I won't let you forget how to use the Fuck word.
Fuckity Fuck.
I will NEVER let you forget.
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