You know what's fun? Not working. You know what's even more fun? Trying to sleep in past 5:30 any given morning while you're not working, only to be woken up by some dillweed with a jackhammer right outside your window.
Seriously.
I get it, you know, the whole let's put the power lines underground so we can enjoy our unobstructed view of palm trees, the ocean, and the people who live behind us' backyard and the nasty-ass grandpa who lives there who insists on never wearing a shirt and sometimes boxers.
But come on, Jack-hole! Do you realize that every morning for the past month when I have been trying to have a nice, peaceful morning with no stress that you've killed my entire break for me? You might as well have moved in here with your wife and called each other "mommy" and "daddy" even though you have a dog, NOT kids, and clipped your toenails without picking it up while texting me endless messages that end in LOL. You are that annoying.
And as if waking me up every morning weren't enough, you continue on with your devil machine while I'm trying to watch the news and trying to beat Sopko's latest score on GeoChallenge. WTF? Do you know how hard it is to remember what the flag of Somalia looks like when all I can think of are the various things I would do to you and your jackhammer if I weren't too lazy to move off the couch? None of which involve you going happily back to your home on Whore Island to enjoy your time off.
If I had it my way, you would NEVER AGAIN enjoy anything in your life, because clearly you are the devil.
Oh, and by the way? Tell your friend, you know, the one who drives the big truck that makes the beeping noise when you back up that NO ONE drives in reverse that much and clearly there's something wrong with him. Probably he should go to the doctor and have it checked out. And leave the keys to the truck with me. I'll take good care of it. And your jackhammer.
In summary, you have ruined my life and I will never forgive you.
But thanks for making the view from my backyard just a little nicer.
6 comments:
LOL, they are THAT annoying eh, yeah well you should go take care of that jackhammer Kel! Use it on the truck. ;)
LOL
I'd love a month off, even with jackhammers. Dude, you got a month off AND a new bike AND a giant diamond.
Srly, lol.
Hahahaha. I love your list of things that annoy you. Hilarious. That does suck. People really should honor our breaks like the holiday they are.
I have the same exact rant against my leaf-blower guy. Seriously, must he loudly blow things so early in the morning? Ugh... I can't believe we have to go back next week... Must enjoy what's left of our break!
You are too funny!
The flag of South Africa always throws me off.
I'm catching up to you though... watch out...I'm on your Geo Challenge heels!
According to "City Ordinance Worker Weekly," and I quote: "Pneumatic Hammers will improve the quality of life for the workers who use them as well as the community at large. They are the Wave of the Future."
How can you argue with that?
Of course, it was from a 1943 issue.
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