I used to be so scared that people wouldn't like me. I did everything I could to please those around me. Translation: I was a doormat.
Most people think I'm the complete opposite now, but the truth is, I sometimes still (albeit much less frequently) find myself worried that someone doesn't like me. But now, unlike my earlier years, I have the skills I need to ground myself, to remind myself that as long as I know the truth about me, as long as I am living with integrity and okay with who I am, then the rest doesn't matter.
When I find myself wondering if someone is upset with or doesn't like me, I stop and ask myself what the higher truth is. If I am okay with my truth, I can move on. If I'm not, then I search for the lesson I need to learn in order to move on.
So what does this have to do with me posting a picture of myself in a bikini online?
Everything.
Admittedly, I was scared to do it. I was afraid of what people would think. I was afraid of...being judged.
But then I remembered the higher truth: I am perfect, I am beautiful as I am. I may not be the skinniest girl in the world (that is a word that will probably never define me, I got curves!), but I am in fantastic shape. I spend many hours a week doing intense athletic training, and, though I could probably eat a little cleaner and drink a little (okay, a lot) less booze, I am still a very respectable 23% body fat. And you know what? I still have plenty of curves.
The bottom line is, if someone wants to judge me, they're going to judge me, and it is usually a reflection of them, not me. Other people's perception will never change the higher truth about me.
And knowing that, I am confident with who I am and how I look.
Besides, my curves don't define me. My shitty personality does.
5 comments:
So proud of you! I love you and your shitty personality.
You look amazing! I wish I looked that good in a swimsuit. I recently tried one on that I thought was gorgeous on the hanger... little did I know that when I tried it on I looked like a half popped can of biscuits! All I could do was laugh or I was going to start crying. One day I will get back in shape and look good like you do in a swimsuit! Love ya Kel!
Totally agree. You look like a million bucks.
I love your personality - you absolutely crack me up! And I think you look AMAZING in that photo and I totally give you HUGE props for doing it!! I know that I never would have been able to do it! And the haters/judgers can suck it. Just sayin'
Thanks for the love, you guys!
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