This morning at the gym, I started talking to this girl that runs on the treadmill next to me every morning. Bitch is way faster than I am, running at a pace of 7.2 miles an hour to my own 6.5 mph (average) pace, in addition to logging in a 9 mile run to my measly 4.
She and her perfect long legs and size 2 frame make me feel like an out-of-shape asshole.
After a minor discussion with her on why I think people who run marathons and half marathons are crazy, I introduced myself by telling her my name.
She has the same name (although I'm spelled with an "i" at the end, while she is spelled with a "y").
Am I weird, or does everyone feel a little awkward when meeting someone with their own name? To me, it's kind of like when you show up at the high school dance and someone else has the same dress as you. All night long, you sneak secret glances at the other girl, trying to decide which of you looks prettier, trying to figure out what others are saying about who wore it best (side note: in high school, it was never me who wore it best).
Anyway. The fact that, when I meet someone with my same name, I immediately wonder which of us is the "cool Kelli" and which of us is the "other Kelli" makes me wonder if I'm just crazy.
I've been living inside my head a lot lately, doing a lot of self-reflection (this is what happens when you take away all my shopping and leave me with extra time on my hands) and I wonder if I will ever truly grow out of the insecurities I had growing up.
I moved past most of them in my mid-20's, but some of the issues are still there, like my need to always be the best at everything which OBVIOUSLY stems from being insecure.
I wonder if it is a flaw in my character or if insecurities in some form plague all of us at least some of the time.
I wish I knew what the hell normal was...
3 comments:
I'm pretty sure not talking to me as much has screwed with your reasoning skills, because obviously you're the Cool Kelli. And also, you're not crazy for thinking about that. I do the same thing. I refuse to be Other Sarah.
Yeah, I think this is just a girl thing. Maybe it's a guy thing too, but I know many girls who are plagued with this competitive streak. So you are "normal" in that sense. There, leave the $$ on the table.
Sincerely,
Cool Kimber
I used to work at a store and a woman came up to pay for some stuff with her credit card... and she had my name on it. Like my entire name, first middle and last - None of which are entirely common! I freaked out a bit and said to her that we have the EXACT same name and she looked at me like I must have farted or something - I felt very insecure and loser-ish. Upon reflection I decided that she was the loser, but I totally felt like one when she was looking at me!
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