Earthquake Season? Trick, please.

According to my old roommate, Fat Pat, it's earthquake season.

I tried to tell her there's no such thing (hello, I was an Earth Science teacher for 3 years--and also don't question me--because I just know these things), but she wasn't having it.

Fat Pat wasn't having a lot of things. Except sex. She was having that.

Now, I'm not going to say she was a whore, I'm just going to say that that bitch loved her some dating. And by dating I mean gonorrhea.

Don't worry, I'm not the kind of girl who talks about her friends behind their backs. The thing is, it's okay to talk about Fat Pat because I'm sure she talks badly about me (which, according to the laws of physics, makes it okay for me to bad-mouth her), and also, we're not friends anymore, a fact that may or may not have been confirmed on Facebook more than once.

After a few years of not speaking over something I don't remember but that was probably her fault, I figured I'd bite the bullet and request her as a friend on FB.

And that bitch ignored me.

Which, frankly, pisses me off. Why does FaceBook enable people to get all passive-aggressive with the friend stuff? I don't think "ignore" should be an option. There should be an "accept" button, a "no thanks" button, and a "fuck off" button when responding to a friend request.

End of story.

Because, when you "ignore" rather than tell me "fuck off", I might be confused. I might think that maybe I didn't already try to add you as a friend and ask you again.

And then feel desperate when I realize I asked you twice and you ignored me twice.

As though you're suddenly the one with the power, as though you can ignore me when clearly all you should do is be grateful that I acknowledged your skanky little ass in the first place, Trick.

Ahem.

The point is, I don't hold grudges, but I don't take kindly to being ignored. Fat Pat, you are dead to me, effective immdiately.