Throw Me a Bone Here!

I firmly believe all cheerleaders should be anorexic and/or bulemic. Don't judge me for saying that. I have good reason for thinking this. If all cheerleaders closely resemble emaciated children, then when they fly through the air and hit you in the face, it won't hurt as much. And it'll be cheaper for the rest of us because we won't have to keep buying new aviators because ours get crushed as they slide down our noses and slice them open.


My nose is not broken, which was determined only after I spent my entire goddamn Monday afternoon in Urgent Care. Oh, AND I had to pay $3 to park (WTF?). I thought I was so clever, getting to leave work just after lunch on a Monday. Turns out that clever, in this case, means manipulating your way into free plastic surgery, Vicodin, and the front of the line in the dr's office. None of which I obtained. Basically because I'm an idiot. An idiot who is too nice to demand what is rightfully hers. Veruca would be so disappointed in me.

I mean, I was already getting used to the idea of having to get plastic surgery on my nose. I figured that when they had to fix my nose they would also suck out some of my ass fat and pump it into my breasts just to be nice. I mean, I deserve that much.


Now, I'm just a girl with a fucked up nose who can't afford plastic surgery OR decent boobs. Damn. Might as well post another cute dress picture to redeem myself: